


YOU INSPIRE ME

by CrimsonEmbrace



Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-04-30 01:58:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14486325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrimsonEmbrace/pseuds/CrimsonEmbrace
Summary: WROTE IN 2013*  STRONG WARNING! GRAPHIC VIOLENCE / RAPE. *





	YOU INSPIRE ME

 

YOU INSPIRE ME...

 

 

Iruka knelt at the memorial stone; he came here every morning to pay his respects to his parents.  Today Iruka wasn’t the only one at the memorial and he tried not to intrude of Kakashi’s own moments of reflection.

 

Iruka had seen Kakashi here many times but they really hadn’t spoken, there was only so much they could say.  Naruto was the only thing they had in common and he’d been gone for several years now... in spite of this Iruka watched Kakashi, he had slowly come to love him.  Kakashi’s quiet strength and sadness... everyone else saw a happy easy going pervert, but Iruka saw beneath the shield to the pain hidden beneath, he wanted to be the one to take that pain away... but it would never be.  A strong nin like Kakashi would have no interest in someone like him; he was just a chuunin...

 

Iruka rose carefully to his feet, he’d worn a sakura blossom kimono... his mother had loved the sakura blossoms, it was that season now and it made Iruka a bit sad that she couldn’t see them, they were very beautiful this year.

 

Iruka bowed to the memorial then turned and walked back towards town... the memorial was located out side the village proper near the training fields and Iruka was careful not to soil his kimono as he walked, he was so lost in thought that at first he didn’t realize someone was watching him... and by the time he did it was too late.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Mizuki watched Iruka walking back from the memorial, his lip curled into a scornful smirk; the fool still didn’t realize he was here... Iruka was a pitiful excuse for a nin and it sickened Mizuki that he was responsible for teaching the next generation of Nin, no wonder the Leaf village was getting so weak...

 

Mizuki trailed Iruka until he was sure no one would see... then swiftly struck him and watched Iruka crumble onto the dirt path.  The third Hokage had always favored Iruka, the pathetic useless nin, and never noticed Mizuki’s brilliance... Then came the day Mizuki had finally got something that would make him so strong no one in the village could ever over look him and he’d become Hokage... the Forbidden Seal scroll. 

 

Mizuki had tricked the ‘demon-fox boy’ into stealing the Forbidden Seal scroll.  It had been too easy, everyone in the village was all to eager to accept Naruto had done it and they’d have assumed he’d hid it or destroyed it after Mizuki killed the ‘traitor’... allowing Mizuki to keep the scroll and study it at his leisure... but Iruka destroyed that plan with his foolish belief in the child. 

 

Iruka would pay for his stupid beliefs... for always catching all the attention and praise... he’d pay for making Mizuki spend the last few years in that horrible prison cell... for lying when he said he loved him... everything that had gone wrong in Mizuki’s life had been because of Iruka!

 

Mizuki hefted Iruka up over his shoulder... carrying Iruka like this would leave Iruka feeling like he’d been hit several times in the stomach but by the time Mizuki was done with him Iruka wouldn’t even feel the pain from his stomach!  Mizuki laughed wickedly, time to put this effeminate little _nin_ to the only use someone like him had!

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

When Iruka woke it was with an agonizing headache.  Iruka sat up and the movement left him sick, nauseated and disoriented, his stomach cramped painfully he looked around his eyes immediately falling on the only other person in the room... Mizuki.  Iruka caught and held his breath, his chest felt tight, his heart hammered madly as he sat frozen in fear... he remembered all too well how rough Mizuki liked to ‘play’.

 

Mizuki sat looking at him with a ruthless smile, all he wore was a loose pair of blue pants and Iruka could see his erection tenting the front of his pants.

 

Mizuki laughed cruelty.  “What not happy to see me?  I go though all this trouble arrange this ‘meeting’ and you have nothing to say?”  Mizuki rose and walked over to squat behind Iruka and whisper in his ear.  “That’s ok... we have better things to be doing than talking.” 

 

As Mizuki spoke his arm wrapped around Iruka’s waist pulling him back against Mizuki’s hard cock and his hand brushed down the kimono. To bare Iruka’s throat and shoulder to his mouth.  “It’s been a long time... I’m not sure how well I can last but don’t worry I’m sure I won’t have any problems pounding that sweet ass several times...”

 

“Mizuki please... don’t do this... we were friends.” Iruka begged softly.

 

Mizuki stiffened and snarled, “We were NEVER friends!”  Mizuki bit Iruka’s throat hard.  “You’re pathetic, worthless, only good for one thing and it’s time you serve your purpose!”

 

Mizuki shoved Iruka down and Iruka tried to roll away, Mizuki caught him immediately, back handing Iruka hard enough to make him dizzy.  For several seconds Iruka’s ears rang and he couldn’t hear Mizuki’s words... then he wished he couldn’t.

 

“Useless little whore, nothing but a useless whore... I’ve seen you mooning over Kakashi.  You’re a useless, weak parody of a nin... I will show you the only thing you’re good for... you were never good enough for me.  You claimed to love me and in the end betrayed me for the demon child!”

 

Mizuki tore Iruka’s robe open pinning Iruka back against the sleep mat beneath him and savagely ripping his boxers off, then straddling his body.  Iruka arched trying to push Mizuki off of him and Mizuki punched Iruka viciously in the stomach driving the air out of his lungs and leaving him gasping.  Between the blow to his stomach and Mizuki’s strike to his head, Iruka fought bouts of nausea as he struggled and his vision grayed in pain...

 

Mizuki pummeled Iruka in the stomach twice more and soon the only thing Iruka could do was fight to draw air past the spasms of pain as his stomach clenched and he retched in dry heaves.  In the end Mizuki easily pinned Iruka, managed to wedge his body between Iruka’s thighs and then push his pants down to free his rigid cock. 

 

Mizuki looked into Iruka’s eyes with a fierce hatred and thrust hard into Iruka’s body, forcing his cock to the base in one powerful thrust that tore Iruka’s body and drew a scream of pain from him.  Iruka’s stomach heaved once more even as tears streamed down from his eyes.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Iruka was HIS little whore and Mizuki was going to make him remember, Iruka was going to regret turning on him. 

 

Mizuki moaned, it really had been too long since he’d felt Iruka’s hot body wrapped around his cock... Iruka had been one of the best lays he’d had in the village, compliantly spreading his legs for Mizuki whenever he’d demanded...

 

“Iruka... my little uke whore...”  Mizuki groaned, it felt too good to be deep in his tight body again.

 

Mizuki couldn’t remember ever being so turned on, Iruka’s struggles tightened his muscles wonderfully around Mizuki’s cock.  Mizuki hammered harder delighting in every give in Iruka’s body as he tore, every pained spasm of Iruka’s muscles... and his soft sobs that were jarred out along with his breaths.

 

Iruka was HIS little bitch... his uke whore... the thought soon had Mizuki so excited that he was leaning back to force his cock deep as he could into Iruka’s moist hole, feeling the wet suck of Iruka’s body every time his balls were forced against Iruka’s ass... just a little bit more and his balls would join his cock in the hot ecstasy.  Mizuki’s fingers joined his cock thrusting harder and moaning in rapture at Iruka’s broken wails of despair...

 

Mizuki’s cock thrust steadily into Iruka, Iruka felt like another fragment of his soul shattered.  Mizuki dipped his head to forcefully kiss him and Iruka turned his head away. 

 

Mizuki made a loud growl of fury.  How had he forgotten his little whore had betrayed him?!  Mizuki bit Iruka’s throat hard as his rams became more ruthless.  Iruka cried out and tears streamed down his cheeks but he continued to keep his face averted from Mizuki. 

 

“Look at me!”  Mizuki snarled angrily, Iruka wouldn’t ignore him!  The filthy whore acted like he was too good for him!  Iruka was HIS little whore and Mizuki was going to make him remember, Iruka was going to regret turning on him!  Mizuki sank his teeth into Iruka’s shoulder drawing a pained cry but Iruka didn’t even shake his head in denial, just gasped, “You can take my body but you can’t have my love.”

 

Mizuki roared an angry curse, “Love?!  You whore!”  And began fucking Iruka savagely pounding into his body with brutal force and jarring pained cries from Iruka until he was sobbing and gasping as each hammer of Mizuki’s cock drove deeper, made slick by Iruka’s blood. 

 

When Mizuki came he rose off Iruka and sneered, “You can keep your ‘love’ for Kakashi...  if he even wants you after I’m done with you!”  Then he turned and stormed out of the room. 

 

Iruka didn’t even try to move he just lay broken, his hope as shredded as his body.  Kakashi wouldn’t ever want him... there was nothing left.  As Mizuki had reminded Iruka with that final act of brutality... Iruka was nothing, just a ‘convenient hole’ just as Mizuki had told him so many times when he’d professed to love him.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Throughout the day Mizuki returned to degrade Iruka.  He fucked Iruka in every position he could, striking him across the face brutally when he tried to get away and dragging him back.

 

It was too perfect, some of the best sex Mizuki had ever had!  Iruka was just as good a piece of ass as he’d remembered and eventually Iruka finally remembered his place and stopped struggling.  Iruka just clenched his hands tightly his nails digging in to his palms until they bled.  Mizuki couldn’t hold back any longer the sensations were too perfect and he gave one last brutal thrust before cumming in Iruka’s shuttering body again.

 

When Mizuki once more returned to play, Iruka just closed his eyes afraid to look and cringed as Mizuki grabbed his hair and forced his cock into Iruka’s mouth past unwilling lips. 

 

 “Bite me and it’s the last thing you’ll ever do!”  Mizuki warned in a savage growl.  The corners of Iruka’s mouth tore as Mizuki maliciously fucked his mouth with merciless slams of his hips, gagging Iruka and leaving his throat raw. 

 

When Mizuki came the fluids burned and Iruka coughed spraying blood and cum over Mizuki’s taut stomach and gasping them into his lungs, leaving Iruka gulping for air, his lungs burning along with his throat.

 

After each brutal act Mizuki would leave... sometimes only briefly.  Even after Mizuki was no longer able to grow aroused he returned, forcing his clenched fist into Iruka’s brutalized flesh and punching into his ravaged body furiously, laughing at Iruka’s shrieks and pistoning into Iruka’s body until he’d screamed himself hoarse and passed out from the pain.

 

Consciousness returned to Iruka once more but his vision was gray and Iruka couldn’t find the energy to care why.  Iruka’s whole body shivered, the pain had gotten so severe he could no longer recognize it and he just felt like he was freezing... freezing didn’t sound like a bad way to die and Iruka gladly gave into it, not fighting unconsciousness as it closed over him once more.  Mizuki had taken everything from him and he no longer cared if he died.

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Kakashi stood at the memorial, today was an important day... a day to honor Obito... the first of his fallen friends.  Kakashi had worn his ceremonial robes and knelt saying his prayer then ‘talking’ to his friend.  Obito had always been a friend, even when Kakashi hadn’t known he needed one. 

 

As he knelt there before the memorial Kakashi’s mind kept wandering.  Kakashi couldn’t fight this feeling... something was wrong, Iruka never missed visiting the memorial... everyday for as long as Kakashi had been watching him he’d come, lit incense and said a prayer for his parents.

 

So many times he’d wanted to talk to him... but what could he say to a man like Iruka.  The man was pure not tainted by blood and death like Kakashi was... a person like himself would horrify a gentle soul like Iruka.

 

Kakashi shivered, the air wasn’t cold and Kakashi once again felt the strong waves of unease... he was certain, something was wrong... he had to find Iruka.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Mizuki looked down at the bloody mess of his former lover.  Iruka’s chest barely rose and fell so softly and slowly that it seemed like it had stopped many times... Iruka wouldn’t live much longer...

 

It was time for Mizuki to go... he’d heard about a group called the Akatsuki while in prison... perhaps he could join up with them...

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Kakashi looked down at Pakun, “Are you sure?”  They’d stopped before an old village farm hut and Kakashi couldn’t imagine any reason Iruka would have come there.

 

Pakun nodded, “One more thing Kakashi... I smell blood, lots of it.”

 

Kakashi’s heart leapt and he rushed in not caring if he was rushing into an ambush or trap.  Lying there in the middle of the hut was Iruka... if Kakashi hadn’t known it was him he’d have never been able to guess, the man was beaten, his body covered in bruises and bloody bit marks... and lying in a large pool of blood.

 

Kakashi rushed to his side, kneeling, he placed his finger on Iruka’s throat praying he wasn’t too late but Kakashi felt it... just the barest thread of a pulse.  Kakashi took off his robes wrapped Iruka in them and gathered the mauled body to his own.  Kakashi then swiftly performed the transportation jutsu hand seals and appeared outside the hospital.  Scooping Iruka gently up in to his arms he walked in not even noticing Pakun walking somberly by his side.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Kakashi’s heart hadn’t stopped hurting since he heard those words.  _One more thing Kakashi... I smell blood, lots of it_.  It seemed like his whole world had just stopped...

 

Kakashi had sent Pakun away as soon as Iruka had been taken from his arms.  Letting the med nin take Iruka from him had been one of the hardest things he’d had to do in his life.  The memory of Iruka beaten and bloody lying on the floor made Kakashi want to scream out in anger and pain... he could not bear to loose him... he’d never even told him...

 

Kakashi wasn’t even sure when he’d known but there was no denying it... he loved Iruka... and now he lay possibly dieing in the next room and Kakashi couldn’t bear the thought of never holding him... kissing him... looking into those serine brown eyes and telling Iruka he didn’t ever want to let him go.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Iruka opened his eyes, it was too bright... Iruka groaned softly and just that movement brought waves of pain that made him wish for unconsciousness.

 

“Iruka.”

 

No... He didn’t want to hear that, he didn’t want to hear anything, he just wanted it to be over... let him die now, no more pain...

 

The pain of Iruka’s body was fading slightly and Iruka sighed softly... perhaps this was dieing.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Lady Tsunade came out of the room her horrified gaze met Kakashi’s.  “He’s alive... he is badly damaged, we’ll be working on repairing the massive amount of injuries for the next several hours but he’s alive...”

 

Kakashi sank down in a chair his head dropped in his hands, he didn’t even realize he was crying until he felt Tsunade’s arms around him and looked up at her.

 

“Kakashi... he’s going to be ok... it’s just going to take time.  Why don’t you go home and rest... I’ll send someone to you if anything changes.”  Tsunade’s eyes looked haunted.

 

Kakashi shook his head, “No... I need to stay...” 

 

Tsunade looked understanding.  “Just a bit longer... then you need to go home and rest.”

 

Kakashi nodded, he wanted to ask if he could see Iruka but hesitated.  Tsunade seemed to know what he was thinking.  “Not yet Kakashi... give us some more time.  I promise I’ll let you see him as soon as possible.”

 

Kakashi nodded and his gaze returned to the floor.

 

Tsunade turned and walked into Iruka’s room shaking her head sadly, what a way for Kakashi to come to the realization that he loved him.  She’d known for a long time... she could see the love in both their eyes... why hadn’t she said something...

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

He wasn’t dead... why wasn’t he dead?  Iruka’s arm twitched and pain surged through him, he couldn’t hold in his soft whimper.

 

A warm hand took his and stroked it, but it hurt too much to open his eyes, Iruka just lay allowing the soft touch to comfort him until the darkness took him once more.

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

The second time Lady Tsunade came out she looked even more worn out than the first and the horror in her eyes had faded to sorrow... and anger.  In spite of the hint of anger in her eyes her voice was gentle. “Kakashi, you can come in now... he’s resting.”

 

Kakashi rose and followed Tsunade into the room.  Kakashi barely heard Tsunade’s words as he gazed down at the man he loved... Iruka was so very pale, he looked so frail... so broken, the bruises were still appearing and now his skin was even more bruised than it had been.

 

“... There’s only so much repair we can force.  Iruka’s body has been through a tremendous strain and...” Tsunade stopped talking, it was obvious Kakashi wasn’t hearing her, but there was something Kakashi needed to hear.  “Kakashi.”  Tsunade placed her hand on his arm and he looked up for a minute before his gaze dropped back to Iruka.  “Iruka’s in and out of consciousness... talk to him, he needs to hear you.”

 

Kakashi nodded, he reached out and his hand hesitated, “Can I touch him?”

 

Tsunade looked away, “Yes, but I think you should limit it to his hands.”  She didn’t want to tell Kakashi how Iruka had wailed and cringed one of the times he’d ‘awakened’ and someone had been touching his body.

 

Kakashi wasn’t looking at her but he nodded and gently took Iruka’s hand... so very carefully, like he was afraid Iruka would break... it brought tears to Lady Tsunade’s eyes even as she turned and walked out.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

The pain wasn’t so bad now but he was stiff... his whole body, the muscles ached like he had been tossed in a clothes dryer on high... or fell off a cliff... did he fall off a cliff?  Iruka’s eyes opened slightly, they didn’t want to open... they felt swollen... what happened...

 

Abruptly it all came surging back, Iruka’s eyes widened and he wailed, scrambling from the bed so fast he was kicking things over.  Iruka felt a sharp pinch on his arm but it didn’t stop his flight until he was cowering against a wall, it was dark... where was he... where was Mizuki? 

 

The door was abruptly thrown open, the bright light blinded Iruka and he turned away from it hiding his face against the wall.

 

“Iruka...”  The voice was soft and feminine, gentle... familiar.

 

“L...”  Iruka’s voice broke his throat was so dry and his body was throbbing with pain everywhere.  Iruka swallowed, and tried again timidly, praying this wasn’t some cruel trick or dream.  “Lady Tsunade.”  The lights were on now and through his swollen eyes he saw Lady Tsunade, she was crouched a few feet from him.

 

“Yes Iruka... you’re safe now.  I promise, no one can hurt you here... Iruka can you stand?”

 

Iruka nodded, but as he tried to get to his feet he realized that he couldn’t... he slumped and crying he whispered.  “No.”

 

“Iruka we need to get you back in the bed and you pulled out your IV, I need to fix that...”  Tsunade spoke with a soothing tone, serenely explaining.

 

Iruka’s eyes fell to his arm, it was bleeding where the IV had been ripped out, and Iruka stared at the blood trailing down his arm.

 

“Iruka...”  Lady Tsunade had moved a bit closer but didn’t reach out to him.  “Iruka look at me...”

 

Iruka dragged his eyes up from the blood drops rolling down to dot the floor.

 

“I need to touch you... I have to help you stand so we can get back to your bed... can I touch you?”  Lady Tsunade’s warm brown eyes were reassuring and understanding.

 

Iruka nodded, but when she reached out he felt such a wave of terror he cried out in fear.  “Please I can’t... don’t... don’t touch me please.”

 

Tsunade’s hands stopped and moved back.  “It’s ok...”  Tsunade knelt on the floor and drew a calming breath, then smiled tenderly. “Iruka could I have you do something for me... something simple.  I need you to place your finger over the area that the IV was pulled from and press down to stop the bleeding... can you do that?”

 

Iruka nodded and did as she asked.

 

“Good... now we have to decide how we can get you back into the bed... Iruka tell me where to touch you... I’m going to hold my hands out but I won’t touch you... when you’re ready take my hands and place them where I can touch you.

 

Iruka shivered but it was partly from the cold floor on his bare legs... Iruka’s eyes widened... bare... he was naked under this hospital gown... the thought sent another stronger wave of terror through him. 

 

Logically Iruka knew this was normal and that he needed to allow Lady Tsunade to touch him but logic didn’t quell the terror racing through his body.  Iruka averted his eyes, “I think you are going to have to sedate me... I just can’t...”

 

“I can’t do that Iruka... please don’t ask me to... your body has been under a tremendous strain... you have a mild concussion... I can’t take that chance.”  Lady Tsunade urged her tone full of empathy.

 

Iruka felt the tears rolling down his cheeks, he felt like such a coward.

 

“We can sit here as long as we have to...”  Lady Tsunade reassured, but Iruka knew it wasn’t going to get any easier and he had to get back into the bed.

 

Iruka nodded, but he couldn’t look at her.  “Hold out your hands...”

 

Tsunade did and Iruka looked at them a second before reaching out and touching her hands lightly, they didn’t feel like HIS... Iruka cautiously placed one on his forearm; it didn’t tighten just rested lightly. 

 

Iruka looked up into Lady Tsunade's eyes... he could trust her, Iruka kept his eyes on hers as he moved her hand up to his upper arm.  Iruka’s skin flinched under her touch but he didn’t pull away, then Iruka placed her other hand on his other upper arm, took a deep breath and nodded.

 

Tsunade slowly stood, drawing Iruka up, her arms strength giving him just enough help to slowly get to his feet and then helped him move over to the bed.  He’d caused quite a mess when he’d leapt up, trays and items were scattered everywhere.  Tsunade helped Iruka into the bed, released him and smiled.  “Ok that’s done... can I touch your arm again?”

 

Iruka nodded.  Lady Tsunade reached out her finger and drew it over the area Iruka had inadvertently damaged when he yanked the IV out, as her finger left his arm Iruka couldn’t see any sign of the wound.

 

“Thank you.”  Iruka shivered, the room was cold.

 

Lady Tsunade nodded, her gentle smile was a bit sad as she spoke, “Iruka... there are many things we need to know...”

 

Iruka looked away.  “Mizuki... he... he caught me coming back from the memorial.”

 

Lady Tsunade was quiet.    “I don’t know where he is, he didn’t say anything...” Iruka glanced up at her then finished in almost a whisper.  “I don’t think I’m supposed to be alive.”

 

Tsunade reached out the touch him in comfort then stopped herself and withdrew her hand.  “You ARE supposed to be alive... never doubt that.”

 

Iruka nodded, then hesitantly touched Lady Tsunade’s hand, his hand twitched as he fought his desire to pull away but it remained on her arm.  “Thank you.”  Iruka drew a deep breath and steeled himself.  “If you need to touch me you can...”

 

Lady Tsunade gave Iruka an affectionate look, “I will warn you before I touch you... everyone will.”

 

Iruka nodded, he didn’t look reassured.  Tsunade touched Iruka all over checking to see if he’d caused more damage or anything wasn’t healing right, although he fought waves of terror so strong they made him nauseated Iruka didn’t pull away.

 

When Lady Tsunade was done she gave him another gentle smile and instructed, “Rest now... the lights will stay on.”

 

Iruka nodded and closed his eyes as Lady Tsunade walked out.  A second later Iruka could hear Lady Tsunade outside his door her voice was furious.  “I told you to leave the lights on!  If I find out which one of you idiots turned off the lights in his room you’re going to need a room by the time I’m done with you!”

 

Iruka sighed, he was such a fool... like a small child he was afraid of the dark.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Kakashi slipped into Iruka’s room again, Tsunade insisted he go home but he couldn’t.  Kakashi stood looking down at Iruka, just watching him sleep.  It took almost loosing him to see how much he loved him.

 

Over the next several days Kakashi spent almost every minute in Iruka’s room, when med nin came in Kakashi would transform into a plant on the windowsill... but it didn’t fool Tsunade she’d look at him every time then sigh and look away. 

 

Kakashi watched as Iruka panicked at the med nin's touch and his heart wept for Iruka... and for himself, Iruka would never be able to bear his touch, it wouldn’t be fair to Iruka to tell him that he loved him... it would only hurt Iruka to know and then he may not want Kakashi around anymore.  Kakashi had to be near him... he couldn’t let that happen.

 

After a week in the hospital Iruka’s bruises had set and some were beginning to fade.  Iruka had come to accept touches on his hands and lower arms, he was awake longer but he spent most of his time just looking out the window... then he began having nightmares.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Iruka fought against falling asleep, he just couldn’t face the dreams... the memories of the pain and despair.  Tsunade had told him about Kakashi finding him and bringing him here... the staff at the hospital said Kakashi visited frequently but Iruka never saw him.

 

Iruka wanted to thank Kakashi, but he was also glad he didn’t have to face him... he’d seen, Kakashi knew what had happened... what Mizuki had done.  Iruka couldn’t help the shame that knowledge brought him, how could he look Kakashi in the eye after that?  Was that the reason Kakashi didn’t come when he was awake?

 

Iruka felt the exhaustion creep over him and, in spite of how hard he fought against it, his eyes still closed.  Almost immediately the dream began, Mizuki was screaming vile things at him and he felt the searing pain as Mizuki’s cock slammed harder and tore deeper into his body... Iruka sobbed and begged but as usual it had no effect...

 

Then Iruka heard a wonderful reassuring voice break into the horror.  “Iruka I love you... you are safe.”  Iruka whimpered, it had to be a trick. 

 

“Iruka I won’t let anyone hurt you...”  the voice was so loving, and it calmed Iruka, the horror of the dream faded.  Iruka felt a feather light brush of a finger on his damp cheek and flinched, his eyes flying open. 

 

Kakashi was standing beside Iruka’s bed, Kakashi had yanked his hand back when Iruka’s eyes opened and was about to leave... without thought Iruka’s hand whipped out and grabbed his... he didn’t want Kakashi to go.  “Please...”

 

Kakashi relaxed slightly, “Anything.”

 

“Stay... please.”  Iruka realized he was holding Kakashi’s hand and released it his face flushing lightly in embarrassment.

 

Kakashi nodded.  Iruka studied Kakashi’s face, in his dream Kakashi had said he loved him... did he imagine it?

 

“I want to thank you...”  Iruka looked down his face heating deep red in shame as he remembered Kakashi had seen him... like that.

 

“Iruka is not your fault...”

 

Iruka looked up in shock, how had Kakashi known he was thinking that?!  Iruka did blamed himself... if he hadn’t encouraged Mizuki all those years ago... if he hadn’t let him...

 

“None of this is your fault... and I don’t see you any differently because of what happened.”  Kakashi looked towards the door.  “I should be going.”

 

Iruka was suddenly very aware of how badly he wanted Kakashi to stay.  “I wish... will you come see me?”

 

Kakashi looked back at Iruka and for a moment there was such undisguised love in his gaze that it stunned Iruka. 

 

“I will return.”  Kakashi turned and left leaving Iruka staring after him in astonishment.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Iruka had healed enough after 10 days in the hospital; today he was finally getting to leave.  Iruka looked around his hospital room one last time.  Kakashi had come to visit many times but he’d never touched Iruka again... Iruka had even ‘caught’ him sneaking back in and transforming into a common item to stay longer.

 

Although Iruka saw deep love in Kakashi’s eye when Kakashi didn’t think he was looking, or something Iruka said drew a warm response... Kakashi hadn’t ever said he loved him outside of his dream.

 

Would he ever see Kakashi now that he was leaving the hospital?  Iruka picked up his bag and walked out of his room and down the corridor, when he’d seen Lady Tsunade for his last check up before leaving the hospital she’d said he’d recovered almost completely... aside from some bruising that she said would clear up soon.

 

Iruka did feel physically ok, but as he went to walk out of the hospital he froze... out there he wasn’t safe anymore!  Iruka’s heart beat hard as he tried to reason with himself, he was safe inside the village.

 

Still Iruka stood in the doorway his throat dry for several minutes before walking out, he would not spend the rest of his life hiding... from anything.  It was at that moment Iruka decided he would confront Kakashi about his feelings.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Kakashi watched Iruka gather his things from the hospital room then Kakashi moved down to closer to the hospital door.  Iruka appeared in the doorway and paused, he looked frightened, Kakashi almost leapt down to comfort him but he didn’t want Iruka to feel like he was being stalked... he didn’t ever want Iruka to be frightened of him.

 

Iruka lifted his chin bravely and walked out.  Kakashi felt a rush of love for Iruka, he was so strong.  Other nin would’ve been completely broken by what happened to him but Iruka bravely faced his fears and continued his life.

 

Kami how he wished he could hold Iruka, tell him how brave he was and how much he admired and loved him... Kakashi’s heart ached, that was something he would never be able to do... not knowing his touch frightened Iruka.

 

Kakashi trailed Iruka to his home carefully hiding his chakra signature so Iruka wouldn’t notice and become frightened.  As totally inappropriate as it was Kakashi had already visited Iruka’s apartment, he couldn’t banish his irrational fear that Mizuki had gotten in there until he checked... no one had been there.

 

As Iruka approached and then entered his apartment Kakashi took a sentry position and watched... it was impractical to think he could stay watching Iruka at all times but Kakashi knew he’d have a hard time leaving no matter how impractical it was...

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Iruka walked into his apartment and looked around... it seemed so odd that nothing had changed.  After all he’d been through, walking back into the apartment and finding it exactly like he’d left it that morning seemed... wrong.  It should’ve been comforting, but now looking around the apartment it just felt empty, nothing in it seemed important after what he’d been through... and Iruka sat on the couch numbly looking out the window.

 

Kakashi was out there... somewhere in the village, or perhaps he was gone on a mission...  Iruka caught a familiar flash of white hair and looked closer... Kakashi!  Kakashi was in a nearby tree sitting on a branch as if lost in thought.

 

Iruka’s heart pounded... why was he here?  Iruka stood, it didn’t matter why.  This was it... it was time to ask him.  Iruka walked to the window unlatched and swung it open, his eyes locked on Kakashi’s as he looked up.

 

Kakashi looked, surprised... then embarrassed as he moved to a limb closer to the window.  “Hi Iruka... I didn’t mean to intrude.”  Kakashi scratched his head in a gesture so like Naruto’s that Iruka nearly laughed, Kakashi noticed and gave a sheepish grin under his mask, his eye crinkled in self-mockery.  “Guess I could’ve knocked... I just... wanted to make sure you were ok.”

 

Iruka smiled, “I’m...” Iruka’s smile faltered slightly.  “Fine.”  Iruka stepped back from the window.  “Would you like to come in?”

 

Kakashi’s gaze was probing, but after a moment he nodded and hopped in the window.  Iruka fidgeted nervously, “Could I get you something to drink?”

 

Kakashi looked away, trying to hide the regret in his gaze. “I think I should go...”

 

“No!”  Iruka yelped and then blushed, he was acting like a child.  “Could you please stay?  I’d like to talk.”

 

Kakashi’s gaze had returned to Iruka’s eyes and he nodded before walking over to sit in an armchair.

 

“A bottled water?”  Iruka asked.  Kakashi nodded.  When Iruka returned with the bottles of water he handed one to Kakashi and sat on the couch to sip his.  Iruka expected Kakashi to use some kind of genjutsu to keep his face hidden... Kakashi didn’t show anyone his face... ever.  There was lots of speculation on why but no one knew for certain.

 

Kakashi watched Iruka drinking his water, then reached his hand up and slid his mask down.  Iruka promptly choked on his water... Kakashi rushed over in distress and patted his back as Iruka coughed... then started laughing.  “Sorry... I was just... um, surprised... you’re...”

 

Kakashi’s fair skin was flushed in embarrassment.  “I look like my father...”

 

“Gorgeous!” Iruka’s eyes widened as he realized what he’d just said and his face turned bright red.

 

Kakashi looked startled.

 

Iruka dropped his eyes.  “Sorry... I guess that’s why you wear the mask because...”

 

“I wear the mask because it hurt every time someone stared at me in shock and called me my father’s name...”  Kakashi corrected quietly, and then when Iruka glanced up he added.  “No one’s ever told me I was... gorgeous.  Thank you.”

 

Iruka couldn’t look away Kakashi’s face was mesmerizing, exotic... the high cheekbones gave his him an almost breathtaking perfection, even the scar that trailed from his eyebrow to his cheekbone on the one side did not detract from his almost angelic beauty.  Iruka watched Kakashi’s soft lips as he spoke and felt the desire to touch them...

 

Iruka’s cock hardened and he realized Kakashi was now sitting near him.  Iruka felt a strong surge of distress and his eyes dropped... he couldn’t, he couldn’t do THAT... he didn’t ever want to be touched like that again.

 

“Iruka?”  Kakashi spoke gently.  “Perhaps it’s best if I go...”

 

Iruka nodded, but he couldn’t look at him... he couldn’t look and see the knowledge in Kakashi’s eyes.  Kakashi rose to his feet and turned to the window, before he could leave Iruka sighed.  “I’m sorry...”

 

“You have nothing to be sorry for... Iruka you’ve done nothing wrong.”

 

Iruka nodded, he still couldn’t look up from the floor, he understood what Kakashi was saying but he didn’t believe his words.  “Will you come visit again?”

 

“I will if you wish me to.”

 

“I do... Kakashi?  When I was in the hospital I dreamt you told me you love me... do you?”  Iruka couldn’t believe he’d asked, his heart pounded as if trying to escape his chest and the silence seemed to stretch out forever...

 

Then Kakashi quietly answered.  “Yes.”

 

Iruka heard Kakashi open the window and leave, so many emotions churned through him and he was so confused.  His heart wanted to leap in joy at the knowledge Kakashi shared his love, even as he cringed at the knowledge that Kakashi did desire him... and he desired Kakashi.  Iruka sat staring at the floor for several hours only stirring as he realized it was getting dark.  Iruka rose and turned on all the lights in his apartment before returning to the couch once more.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

When Iruka invited him in... Just for a moment Kakashi hoped... could Iruka trust him?  Could he want to spend time with him?  But all that changed when Kakashi foolishly touched him... he hadn’t meant to, he just saw Iruka choke and rushed over to him, patting him lightly on the back.  Everything was fine until Iruka realized he’d touched him, then Iruka stiffened and seemed to cringe away from him...

 

And if that wasn’t bad enough then Kakashi had admitted that he loved him... now Iruka wouldn’t want him near... but didn’t Iruka ask if he’d visit again?  Kakashi was so confused...  all he wanted was to make everything better and he couldn’t!

 

Damn, that bastard Mizuki!  How could he hurt Iruka like that!  The longer Kakashi thought on it the more determined he was... the only thing he could do for Iruka was to make sure Mizuki was punished... this time there wouldn’t be the option of prison.

 

Kakashi returned to his apartment grabbed his weapons and after summoning Pakun they left to go hunt down Mizuki.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Iruka hadn’t seen Kakashi since the day Kakashi had visited his apartment... it had been almost 3 days... of course Iruka hadn’t felt ready to leave his apartment yet, so it wasn’t very likely he would’ve seen him.

 

Iruka missed him... he couldn’t help it, the knowledge that Kakashi returned his love haunted him during the day even as the nightmares of Mizuki haunted his night.  Iruka was quickly becoming desperate enough to go out into the village and look for him... but was that fair to Kakashi? 

 

Iruka couldn’t bare Kakashi’s touch... was it fair to wish to see him?  Another day passed and Iruka so urgently yearned to see Kakashi that it didn’t matter anymore if it was fair... it was the only thing Iruka wanted and nothing else mattered.... even still it took most of the day to convince himself to walk out of his apartment and down the stairs to the street.

 

Iruka felt guilty that he hadn’t returned to the memorial to pray for his parents but he couldn’t face it... perhaps Kakashi would go with him.

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

 

Mizuki hadn’t made any effort to hide his trail... like the fool didn’t expect anyone to come after him!  The idea made Kakashi furious, Mizuki was so sure he’d killed Iruka that he thought no one would know it was him!  Kakashi growled and Pakun’s fur rose. 

 

“Kakashi would you stop doing that, you’re making me a nervous wreak.”  Pakun muttered, then shook settling his coat smoothly once more before continuing forward. 

 

They’d trailed Mizuki through several small villages and in every one of them they found a mourning family.  Mizuki had gotten a ‘taste’ for sexual sadism and it looked like Iruka had been the only one to survive... none of the small villages had med nin.

 

The thought of all those young men suffering sickened Kakashi and steeled his resolve, he would not stop tracking Mizuki no matter how long it took until he caught him and killed him.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Iruka was frantic as he rushed into Lady Tsunade’s office.  “He’s gone!  Kakashi’s gone you have to find him!”  Iruka burst into tears.  “What if Mizuki got him!”

 

Lady Tsunade threw caution to the wind and grabbed Iruka hugging him tightly like she would a child, “Shhh... It’s ok Iruka... It’s ok, we know he’s gone.”  Iruka took a shaky breath but didn’t try to pull away he was shaking so hard Lady Tsunade was afraid he’d fall if she released him.  “It’s ok... Ibiki sent two ANBU after Kakashi, he’s ok.”

 

Iruka drew back and looked up into her eyes his eyes dark with terror.  “Why did he leave?”  Lady Tsunade loosened her grip so Iruka could pull away but he didn’t he was still trembling.  “He loves me...”

 

Lady Tsunade smiled gently.  “I know...”  Iruka drew a deep breath and stepped back away from Lady Tsunade’s arms.  “I think that’s one of the reasons he felt he had to do what he’s gone to do...”

 

Iruka’s eyes filled with fear once more, his voice was a soft rasp.  “He went after Mizuki...”

 

Lady Tsunade nodded.  Iruka turned and sank down in a chair, his head bowed.  “How long... when did he leave?”

 

Lady Tsunade sat on the corner of her desk watching Iruka carefully.  “Four days.”

 

Iruka’s head whipped up.  “Four days!”  Kakashi had left right after Iruka had made him admit he loved him and then pushed him away... it was his fault Kakashi left!

 

Lady Tsunade nodded, her keen gaze picking up Iruka’s elevated pulse and she knew for some reason that upset him.  Iruka’s shoulders slumped, “He told me he loved me... I... he could die and it’s my fault...”

 

Tsunade could see from the shake of Iruka’s shoulders he was crying again,  “Iruka... don’t...  someone like Mizuki couldn’t hurt Kakashi... trust in him... Kakashi didn’t go off to get killed.”  Tsunade soothed gently.  “The ANBU are right behind Kakashi... nothing is going to happen to him.”

 

Right now Lady Tsunade wished she could boot Kakashi in the ass for worrying Iruka like this... hot headed men!  Lady Tsunade drew a calming breath and admitted to herself what she’d never admit to anyone else... she’d have done the same thing if Mizuki had hurt someone she loved like that.  Kakashi was the Leaf Village’s best tracker nin... he’d find Mizuki, of that Lady Tsunade was sure.

 

Iruka rose from his seat and started to the door.  “Iruka... Kakashi won’t get hurt.”  Lady Tsunade insisted, Iruka nodded but his posture was still broken as he walked from the room.  Lady Tsunade sighed, and then yelled, “Shizune!”

 

“Yes.”  Shizune poked her head in the door.

 

“Get Ibiki, I need to talk to him.”  Tsunade turned and looked out the window at Iruka’s hunched form walking down the street as Shizune went to summon Ibiki.  Lady Tsunade could see the ANBU Ibiki had assigned to guard Iruka following, but it was only because she knew who she was looking for... Tenzou wouldn’t let anything happen to Iruka... he’d give his life before that would happen and Tenzou was almost as strong as Kakashi so that wasn’t even a possibility.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

When Kakashi did catch up to Mizuki it was late on the fifth day after he’d left the Leaf Village.  Mizuki had checked into a small hotel room and was sleeping; capturing him had been ridiculously easy.  Mizuki slept all the way up to the moment Kakashi had his garrote around his throat... all Kakashi had to do was tighten it and the world would be free of his foul taint... but it was too kind an end for Mizuki.

 

Kakashi slammed his fist into Mizuki’s face knocking him out and carried him from the room; by the time Mizuki woke they’d left the village.  Kakashi tied his wrists together behind his back and strung him up by them to a tree branch, his feet dangling off the ground as he screamed and his shoulders were popped from their sockets by the weight of his body. 

 

Kakashi sat deep in thought... In the beginning Mizuki had screamed and cursed, then begged, now all he could manage was ragged sobs as the pain stole his breath.

 

Kakashi looked at the vile creature that had dared defile Iruka’s body and fought his savage urge to cut Mizuki’s cock off and shove it down his throat as he bled to death....

 

Perhaps hammer nails through Mizuki’s scrotum, douse his cock in alcohol and set it on fire... the many horrible things Kakashi wished to do to Mizuki all seemed too easy, too fast an end for someone who had caused so much suffering and death...

 

Wait... no... This was something that should be left to a professional!  Kakashi laughed heartlessly as he looked into Mizuki’s tear filled eyes.  “I have someone who’d love to meet you.  Ibiki’s going to have so much fun with you... and he’ll make sure you live to enjoy ‘playtime’ for days...” 

 

Mizuki’s tears turned to hard sobs as Kakashi cut him loose from the tree and let him drop, then picked him up and tossed him face down over his shoulder...

 

After a short while Mizuki would be vomiting down Kakashi’s back but it wasn’t something Kakashi hadn’t had before and it was worth it... besides it would be Mizuki who would have his face hanging in it the whole way back to the Leaf Village.

 

Kakashi wasn’t planning on making too many stops just enough to be sure Mizuki didn’t suffer positional asphyxia.... Mizuki wasn’t brave enough to ‘take the easy way out’ by biting through his own tongue but this position guaranteed even if he did he couldn’t drown in his own blood and Kakashi would be all to happy to cauterize the ‘wound’ to prevent him from bleeding out. 

 

Kakashi hurried, he couldn’t help worrying... he needed to get back to Iruka; he’d been gone too long.

 

Kakashi was well over half way back when the ANBU caught up with him, after passing Mizuki off to their ‘experienced care’ for delivery to Ibiki Kakashi was free to rush back to Iruka.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Iruka sat by his window watching for Kakashi just as he had every moment since he discovered Kakashi had left the village.  Iruka couldn’t bear to leave the window, he slept curled beside it and when he woke in the morning he saw Kakashi sitting on a tree limb outside watching him.

 

Iruka leapt up and opened the window.  Kakashi cautiously moved to the window frame but didn’t enter, Iruka reach out and grabbed Kakashi pulling him in and into his arms.

 

“Kakashi!”  Iruka sobbed as he wrapped his arms tighter around him and felt Kakashi stiffen.  “You left me!”

 

Kakashi’s posture softened and he wrapped his arms around Iruka.  “Never... I promise... never will I leave you.”  Kakashi’s head lay against Iruka’s shoulder and he could feel the cloth dampen.  Iruka’s eyes widened and his heart broke as he realized Kakashi was crying.  “I’m sorry... I’m so sorry Iruka... I had to... I love you so much.”

 

Iruka blinked away his tears, drew back and cupped Kakashi’s face.  The pain and sorrow on Kakashi’s face melted his heart and he drew Kakashi’s mask down then placed a soft kiss on Kakashi’s lips before backing away.

 

Kakashi allowed his arms to fall away as Iruka backed up.  Iruka smiled apologetically, hoping Kakashi could understand... as much as he craved Kakashi’s touch it still made his stomach clench in fear.  “I missed you.”  Iruka murmured his eyes full of longing, he wanted to be in Kakashi’s arms, he wanted to be raining kisses over his lips and begging him to never leave again...

 

“I love you Iruka... it was so very hard to be away.”  Kakashi replied solemnly, his cheeks still damp from his tears.  Iruka swallowed hard and nearly whimpered at the struggle going on inside of him... he wanted to hold Kakashi so badly.  Iruka reached out his hand and brushed his fingers over Kakashi’s cheek, Kakashi closed his eyes and turned his face to kiss Iruka’s palm.

 

Iruka shivered in desire, his hand remained touching Kakashi’s face even after Kakashi opened his eyes and looked at him.  Kakashi’s bewitching gaze held Iruka’s his eyes full of love as Iruka’s finger traced his lips Kakashi closed his eyes but not before Iruka saw the desire flash through them.

 

Iruka shivered.  Kakashi didn’t move his eyes, closed in an effort to prolong the contact... to hide his need.

 

Shaking in distress Iruka leaned in and brushed his lips over Kakashi’s again and heard his soft whimper as Kakashi’s breath hitched in arousal... but he didn’t move, except to tremble softly.

 

Iruka grew a bit bolder and he laid his hand on Kakashi’s chest, Kakashi gasped quietly and swallowed hard, his muscles quivered under Iruka’s palm.

 

“Kakashi look at me.”  Iruka whispered.  Kakashi’s eyes opened and beneath the desire Iruka could see fear.  “What are you afraid of?”

 

“I don’t want you to hate me... I couldn’t bear for you to be frightened of me.”  Kakashi replied his eyes turning mournful. 

 

Iruka smiled hesitantly, it was so very touching... and terribly sad.  Kakashi didn’t wish to desire him because Kakashi was afraid it would frighten him... and Iruka couldn’t tell Kakashi it wouldn’t... it did... but the one thing Iruka could promise he did.  “I won’t hate you... I won’t ever hate you.”

 

Relief shown in Kakashi’s gaze.  “I couldn’t hurt you, I’d rather die.”

 

Iruka covered Kakashi’s lips with his fingers, “Don’t... don’t ever speak of dieing, I couldn’t live without you.”

 

Kakashi nodded acceptance and Iruka’s fingers fell from Kakashi’s soft lips... just touching them had made Iruka’s cock harden.  Kakashi’s eyes were dark with desire, the feel of Iruka’s hands on his chest, his finger on his lips... it was torture, the most agonizing tease, and yet Kakashi couldn’t pull away. 

 

Kakashi was grateful for just Iruka’s touch, he wouldn’t give it up... he need it like a soothing balm that healed all his wounds... all the horrors of his past... they all seemed worth it just for this moment, for this touch of Iruka’s fingers he’d suffer them all again if he had to.

 

Kakashi closed his eyes memorizing the feel of Iruka’s fingers as they traced his cheekbone.

 

“I’m... scared.”  Iruka said softly.

 

Kakashi’s eyes opened and filled with alarm but when he tried to step back Iruka’s fingers curled in the cloth of his shirt clutching it and keeping him near.  “Iruka you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do...”  Kakashi protested.

 

“I want to.”  Iruka corrected, his voice hoarse and his breathing rapid, his eyes were full of desire as well as fear.

 

“We should take it slow... we don’t have to do anything not for a long time... I just need your touch.”  Kakashi insisted.

 

“That won’t work for me... I have to get past this, I... want you... I want your touch... to touch you... to taste you... to feel your body connected with mine.”  Iruka’s low husky voice was evidence how true his words were, this was something he hungered for and not an attempt to please Kakashi.

 

Kakashi closed his eyes with a groan as Iruka spoke, when he opened them their gaze was pained and full of Kakashi’s desperate desire... and yet he still couldn’t make himself touch Iruka, he couldn’t bear to see the fear his touch would bring.

 

Iruka stepped back but it wasn’t to move away his hand still clenched in Kakashi’s shirt drew him forward.  Kakashi froze when Iruka started to lead him to the bedroom and shook his head.  “Not yet.  Let’s just sit in here.”

 

Iruka wanted to just do it... if he forced himself to have sex he could get over his fear.  Kakashi’s eyes begged him and Iruka gave in, he released Kakashi’s shirt and sat on the couch.  Then blinked in surprise as Kakashi sank to his knees before him, looking up at him with a passionate loving gaze. 

 

Iruka’s cock strained at the front of his pants, he’d never see anyone look more sexy in all his life he could almost cum just from looking down and seeing that adoring hungry look in Kakashi’s eyes!

 

“Can I suck your cock?”  Kakashi asked his voice full of yearning.  Iruka was wrong... THAT was the sexiest look he’d ever seen!  The longing on Kakashi’s face as he asked permission to suck Iruka’s cock... there was no answer Iruka could possibly give except the immediate one he gasped, “Yes!”

 

Kakashi leaned forward but his hands remained at his sides, then to Iruka’s amazement Kakashi took the tab of his zipper between his lips and drew it down.  Iruka couldn’t breathe; he’d never been so turned on in all his life!  Kakashi nuzzled the fabric aside and Iruka’s cock beaded with precum. 

 

Iruka knew Kakashi was very capable of freeing his cock but he couldn’t wait to feel Kakashi’s soft lips on his cock.  Iruka quickly freed his cock from his boxers as Kakashi watched.  Kakashi licked his lips, his eyes looking from the damp head of Iruka’s cock up into Iruka’s eyes as his tongue reached out and gathered the salty dew from the tip of Iruka’s very engorged cock.  As Kakashi drew his tongue back the clear fluid stretched between his lips and Iruka’s swollen cock in the most erotic manner.

 

Kakashi licked his lips, then his mouth drew close to Iruka’s cock once more, Kakashi’s hot moist breath played over the head of his cock teasing Iruka.  Kakashi’s tongue licked the head slowly and Iruka groaned, it was enthralling... the look in Kakashi’s eyes as he worshiped Iruka’s cock with his mouth made Iruka nearly desperate with lust.

 

Kakashi nuzzled Iruka’s balls, his breath ruffling the hair gently, then licked slowly up the length of Iruka’s cock to the head.  Iruka whimpered, his cock bobbing at the tease, and he watched Kakashi’s mouth slowly slip down to take the flushed head into his mouth.  Kakashi’s soft lips closed over the head and he sucked, drawing a loud moan from Iruka’s lips.  Iruka’s breath was ragged with passion, he panted and made soft whines of need, Kakashi’s mouth was amazing!

 

Kakashi slipped down taking Iruka’s cock to the base and making Iruka’s breath catch, he could barely breathe past the surges of intense pleasure.  As Kakashi drew back to the head he sucked the throbbing length strongly, then sucked gently drawing in Iruka’s cock as he slid down slowly to the base once more... Iruka whined, he wasn’t sure how much more of this wonderful torture he could take! 

 

Kakashi’s mouth sucked firmly as it drew up to the head once more, then paused as his tongue tapped at the juncture where the head of Iruka’s cock met the shaft.  Iruka’s hips bucked, he was so fevered with need that the only thing that mattered was the sensations Kakashi was causing with his mouth.

 

Kakashi’s tongue circled the swollen head as his hand came up to cup Iruka’s balls.  Kakashi’s incredible mouth released the head of Iruka’s cock and his mouth lowered to lick and suck along the shaft up to the head once more to the area at the base of the head where the two halves came together and tapped his tongue at that area again.  Iruka’s breath caught and released in a loud moan. 

 

Iruka’s balls drew up and when Kakashi returned to the base his tongue licked up the tender strip of skin behind Iruka’s balls over his balls to the tip of his cock.  Iruka swore he couldn’t hold back and more.  Kakashi’s thumb rested at the base of Iruka’s cock and pressed against the area preventing his release as he repeated the slow torturous lick and this time dipped his tongue into the slit.  Iruka’s body jumped and his muscles spasmed as he tried to cum, moaning loudly in pleasure and quivering as Kakashi’s mouth covered the head of his cock and sucked hard as if trying to draw the cum from him.

 

Iruka cried out in ecstasy and when Kakashi’s thumb was removed and Kakashi swept down to the base taking Iruka’s cock into his throat Iruka wailed and came so hard he swore he was going to pass out from the intensity of his rapture.

 

Kakashi’s throat muscles flexed around Iruka’s cock earning one more buck before Iruka collapsed back onto the couch exhausted and still trembling from the waves of pleasure washing through him. 

 

Kakashi slipped Iruka’s sated cock from his mouth and moved up to sit beside him, hesitated a second then wrapped his arms around Iruka cradling him to his body and kissed his brow as Iruka slowly caught his breath.

 

Iruka looked up at Kakashi in amazement.  “I... I’ve never felt anything like it!”

 

Kakashi’s lips curved slightly and his cheeks tinted a light pink but he said nothing.  Iruka was very aware of Kakashi’s cock tenting his pants and as the rush of arousal left him Iruka felt very uneasy about Kakashi’s arms around him.

 

Kakashi felt Iruka stiffen under his hands and shiver; Kakashi forced an easy smile to his lips and slipped his arms from around Iruka as he rose.  “I should go check in with Lady Tsunade... and shower.  It’s been a long... trip.”

 

Iruka looked up at Kakashi then at Kakashi’s erection and felt a horrible rush of guilt, “I could... I can suck your cock...”  Iruka said, hating the quaver in his voice.

 

“No Iruka... it’s ok, I need to go.”  Kakashi turned to the window opened it and was about to leave when Iruka’s words stopped him.

 

“I want you to come back... will you return later?”

 

Kakashi swallowed, “I’m not sure that would be a good idea...”

 

“Please.”

 

Kakashi nodded, he couldn’t deny Iruka.  “I will return later.”  Kakashi agreed then fled, his cock throbbing viciously in need and his heart uneasy... he hated the guilt he felt for desiring Iruka.

 

Iruka would have done it... sucked his cock... Kakashi groaned loudly at the thought tempted beyond belief... Iruka would have done it, but not because he wanted to... because it was ‘expected’, because it would please Kakashi...

 

Kakashi couldn’t allow Iruka to do it, no matter how much he desired it; he couldn’t see the fear in his eyes.  Kakashi returned to his apartment and quickly shed his clothes as he walked to the bathroom and turned on a shower, trying to endure his engorged cock and throbbing balls just a bit longer.

 

Once the water wasn’t freezing Kakashi walked into it feeling the cool water trailing down over the enflamed length of his cock with a soft moan... Kami how he wanted Iruka’s lips on his cock... his hands on his body, it had taken a great deal of will power to turn away.

 

It only took two strokes and Kakashi was cumming hard his body shaking at the rush of pleasure after such long denial... Kakashi stood letting the water drum down on his back his head bowed.

 

Then Kakashi began stroking his cock again, teasing himself hard once more.  He’d make himself cum as many times as he could before returning to see Iruka... until he was so sated he couldn’t get aroused, he didn’t want there to be any temptation.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Iruka sat at his window looking out, allowing the waves of shame and guilt to wash over him... he loved Kakashi.  Kakashi wouldn’t hurt him... and yet the feel of his arms around Iruka’s body made Iruka’s heart race in fear... how could he send Kakashi away?!

 

How could he deny Kakashi his touch?!  He should have never allowed Kakashi to leave, he should have insisted Kakashi allow him to pleasure him...  he should have pushed past the fear and insisted, but he hadn’t, like a coward he allowed Kakashi to leave.

 

Iruka firmed his resolve, tonight when Kakashi returned Iruka was going to insist... he was going to insist Kakashi fuck him...the surge of terror Iruka felt left him nauseated.  Iruka shook his head in disgust at himself and with sarcastic humor decided it might be best not to eat... the last thing he wanted was to throw up on Kakashi.

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Kakashi’s final release burned through him, he just couldn’t do it anymore he had nothing left to give and his balls now ached in an entirely different manner than before... Kakashi was as sure as he could be that Iruka would not arouse him.

 

After washing thoroughly Kakashi redressed and went to report to Lady Tsunade.  Then Kakashi was going to go see how Ibiki’s ‘new friend’, Mizuki, was enjoying Ibiki’s hospitality.

 

As was expected Lady Tsunade was not pleased by Kakashi’s ‘vigilante behavior’ and by the time he left her office he had a much greater guilt than before about leaving so suddenly... Tsunade’s description of Iruka’s reaction was enough to make him cringe under a heavy weight of shame...

 

He’d been cruel and selfish just like Tsunade said, he’d never thought of Iruka’s reaction to finding out he’d left, it was one more layer of guilt that burdened him as he continued to the ANBU building to see Ibiki...

 

Kakashi knew he should return to Iruka but he just couldn’t yet, his mind was full of turmoil and his heart was sick with despair... Kakashi was sure Iruka would try to get him to fuck him again and no matter how sated his body was he couldn’t trust himself not to give in to the temptation.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

As the day turned to dusk Iruka began to worry... maybe Kakashi wouldn’t return... maybe he decided he couldn’t be around him.  Iruka’s heart thudded hard in his chest as he walked around turning on all the lights in his apartment.

 

Look at him a grown man afraid of the dark!  It was sickening how could a strong nin like Kakashi not be disgusted by his cowardice... Iruka reached out a shaky hand to turn one off, only to immediately turn it back on and tears of shame trailed down his cheeks... he couldn’t live like this!

 

This hiding in his apartment, this being afraid... this wasn’t the person he wanted to be and he loathed what he’d become.  Iruka determinedly turned off all the lights in the house but one, gathered his keys and walked to the door.

 

It was getting dark.  Iruka forced himself to open the door and walk out, but as he looked at the stairs to outside he wasn’t sure he could force himself to do it... it go out there, in the dark.  Only the self-hatred he felt was enough to make him go, Iruka slowly walked down and out the apartment building door.

 

Standing in the street Iruka realized, he didn’t know where to go or what to do... he hadn’t thought that far ahead.  Asuma was walking down the street and called, “Hey ‘ruka!  What you doing out here with us night owls?!”  Iruka looked over at Asuma his jovial teasing was so... normal.

 

“I’m not sure... I just needed to get out.”  Iruka replied quietly.

 

Asuma nodded as if that was a normal reply and laughed, “Feel like hitting the bar?  All the off duty nin will be there tonight... Genma, Izumo, Raidou... you know the whole crew.”

 

Iruka slowly nodded, he couldn’t think of anywhere else to go and now that he’d forced himself out he wasn’t going to ‘chicken out and run home’.  “Yes... that sounds nice.”

 

“Good.”  Asuma reached out to hit him gently on the arm and Iruka flinched away before his hand touched.  Asuma looked at him oddly, “Are you ok?”

 

Iruka studied Asuma’s face... he didn’t know... Asuma didn’t know.  Iruka nodded, he was stunned... no one knew?  How had Lady Tsunade kept it secret? 

 

Asuma’s brow had furrowed and his eyes had grown concerned, Iruka realized he’d been standing there lost in thought and forced a smile. “I’m fine.  I’d just rather no one touch me right now... I’m sore from a hike I took earlier this week.”

 

Asuma nodded and his easy smile came back.  “Ok let’s go, if we keep those loafers waiting they’ll drink the bar dry before we ever get there!”

 

Iruka forced another smile and they began walking down to the local bar.  “Hey ‘ruka have you been on leave?  I haven’t seen you lately.”

 

Iruka was quiet for several seconds he wasn’t sure how to answer, Asuma held up a hand, “Sorry ANBU stuff right... it’s ok.”

 

Iruka looked up at Asuma in shock and laughed, “Me?!  ANBU?!”

 

Asuma shrugged, “Why not?”

 

Iruka looked at Asuma in bewilderment, “I’m a weak chuunin... nobody.”

 

Asuma stopped and looked at Iruka sternly, “Nonsense, you’re anything you want to be... for all I know you’re a top ANBU Jounin and could kick my butt!”

 

Iruka was flustered, “But I’m not.”

 

“But you could be if you wanted to be, there’s nothing stopping you... but there’s nothing wrong with anything you enjoy doing and rank don’t make you a different person.”  Asuma broke into an easy grin.  “Besides you handle all those pre-Genin... you should get hazard pay for that!  I couldn’t do it!”

 

Iruka gave a genuine laugh.  “Asuma you’re a good man.”

 

Asuma shrugged, “Come on if we keep dawdling we’ll be the last ones there.”

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Ibiki looked up and Kakashi saw the twitch of his lips that was Ibiki’s only reaction, it was his version of a smile, “Our guest is ‘resting’”  Ibiki-speak for _‘unconscious’_.  Kakashi was used to reading between the words with Ibiki and understood him perfectly.

 

Ibiki continued blandly.  “I’m afraid he found our first round of games a bit intense...”  _‘I made him scream until he was hoarse’_   “But I’m sure he’ll be ready to play again soon.”  _‘Soon I’ll pump him full of stimulants to force him to wake so we can continue.’_

 

Kakashi nodded.  Ibiki quirked an eyebrow slightly.  “Would you like to see him?”  _‘I can wake him up now.’_   “I’m sure he’d be every eager...” _‘terrified’_   “To see you.”

 

Kakashi replied dryly, “Tempting but I’m supposed to go see Iruka now.” _‘ I can’t show up covered in blood.’_   “I’ll leave him in your expert care.”  _‘Make him scream and pray for death.’_

 

Ibiki nodded calmly, “Well, come see him anytime, he should be staying with us for several days.”  _‘Offer is open.  I’m sure I can keep him alive for a very long time.’_

 

Kakashi nodded and walked out of Ibiki’s office.  Anyone else he’d have felt a smidge of sympathy for... but Mizuki, well it couldn’t happen to a more deserving man.  Officially Mizuki wasn’t even there so there was no chance of a reprieve... Mizuki could only hope that he had a weak heart and died before too many days passed.  Ibiki was without mercy for someone like him.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Iruka took a chair at the corner, his back to the wall.  Everyone had been surprised to see him but no one seemed in anyway uncomfortable around him... they really didn’t know...

 

Genma looked over at Iruka and grinned, “Better hope Kakashi don’t show up... that his seat.”

 

Iruka’s heart rate had doubled at Kakashi’s name, but somehow he kept his voice calm.  “I’ll keep that in mind.” 

 

Genma passed Iruka the bottle and Iruka poured a very tiny amount into his cup before passing it to Asuma on his right.  Genma tried to hit Iruka in the arm to get his attention and Asuma caught his hand with a benign smile.  “Iruka’s sore... no tapping him.” 

 

Genma shrugged and grinned, “Hey Iruka, when’s the next batch of nin wannabe’s start?”

 

Iruka gave Genma a half joking frown.  “Don’t belittle them... one day one of them is going to knock you on your ass.”

 

Genma snorted.  “Only if they’re female and it’s to climb aside.”  Genma bucked his hips.

 

Raidou hit Genma ‘playfully’ in the arm hard enough to almost knock Genma out of his chair.  The warning hard glitter in Raidou’s eye belied his light tone.  “Genma they’re kids.”

 

Genma flushed bright red and mumbled. “Yeah, sorry... bad joke.”

 

The nin at the table gave nods accepting his apology, they all knew Genma often spoke without thinking and hadn’t meant anything by his comment.

 

No one seemed to notice how Iruka had paled, a chill washing over him, Iruka somehow forced a stiff smile.  “I really should be going...” he rose from his hair and Genma grabbed his arm.  Iruka jerked back and away, his back colliding with the wall stopping his escape.

 

“Hey, I’m sorry Iruka, I didn’t mean it like that... please don’t be angry.”  Genma begged, his eyes worried.

 

Iruka was trembling.  “It’s ok, really Genma... I’m just not feeling well.”

 

Asuma stood distracting everyone’s attention.  “Well degenerates, I’ve got to get out of here too... some of us actually work.”

 

Everyone snorted and taunted, razzing Asuma and dismissing Iruka and Genma’s little misunderstanding as resolved.  During the teasing Asuma had maneuvered his body between Iruka and the other nin ‘inadvertently’ shielding him.  “Say ‘ruka you want to walk together?”

 

Iruka nodded stiffly, “Yes.  I’ll see you all later.”  The nin at the table waved returning to their various bantering and razzing of each other, even Genma seemed like he’d accepted Iruka’s assertion of not feeling well.  Asuma escorted Iruka out of the bar and they walked down the street somberly.

 

Asuma looked ahead even as he started quietly talking.  “Look I don’t know what happened... and I’m not going to ask, but if I can help in anyway just let me know.”

 

Iruka swallowed his shame, “Thanks.”

 

Asuma nodded, and they walked in silence all the way back to Iruka’s apartment.  Asuma paused outside Iruka’s apartment building and shot a smile at Iruka, “Have a good night...”  Asuma’s smile faded, “and remember if there’s anything I can do let me know.”

 

Iruka nodded, turned and walked into his building and up the stairs.  Once in his apartment he turned on all the lights once more, his hands were shaking.  When he walked over to his window he saw Kakashi sitting in a tree, the same one he’d sat in the day Iruka had gotten out of the hospital.

 

Kakashi looked up at him and when Iruka opened the window he moved to perch beside it.  “Koi what happened?”  Kakashi spoke gently.

 

Iruka’s eyes teared at the tender words.  “Kakashi I need you.”

 

Kakashi hopped in the window and stood before Iruka, not touching him but his eyes filled with his yearning to hold Iruka.  Iruka leaned into him and Kakashi’s arms twitched as he fought his urge to hold Iruka to him.  Kakashi placed a loving kiss on Iruka’s brow.  “I was worried when I didn’t find you here.”

 

“I’m sorry.” Iruka whispered still pressing himself into Kakashi’s chest seeking comfort.  “I hate how weak I am...”

 

Kakashi was stunned; he forgot he wasn’t supposed to touch Iruka and tilted Iruka’s chin up with a finger.  “Iruka you’re not weak... you’re the strongest man I know... stronger than me... not once did you ask where Mizuki was or express any desire for revenge just continued to press forward trying to get your life back...not once did you complain it wasn’t fair or seek sympathy... how could you ever think you were weak?  I wish I was as strong as you.”

 

Iruka stared up at Kakashi in wonder, then cupped Kakashi’s face and kissed him passionately.  Kakashi’s arms wrapped gently around Iruka for a second then dropped as Kakashi remembered he couldn’t touch Iruka. 

 

Iruka broke their kiss and took Kakashi’s arms bringing them back up to around his waist once more, Kakashi studied Iruka’s face his eyes concerned but Iruka cupped his face and kissed him deeply once more.  Kakashi moaned into their kiss and Iruka felt his cock stir against Kakashi’s taut stomach.

 

Iruka broke their kiss but didn’t draw back his lips brushing Kakashi’s as he murmured, “I want you.”

 

Kakashi straightened as if to pull away and Iruka wrapped his arms tightly around Kakashi’s waist. 

 

“Please Iruka... I just can’t... knowing how my touch makes you shake in fear...”

 

“I’m shaking... but not in fear... I want you.”  Iruka’s hands slid around to Kakashi’s chest and his fingers started to unfasten Kakashi’s shirt.

 

“How can you say that?”  Kakashi pleaded softly, his hands clung to Iruka knowing he should stop him but powerless to do it.

 

“I can not deny I’m afraid... but it doesn’t stop me from wanting you.”  When Iruka’s hands touched Kakashi’s bare flesh, Kakashi gave such a fevered moan that Iruka’s fear dissipated in the wake of the massive spike of lust he felt.  Kakashi, this extraordinary powerful nin was moaning at HIS touch!

 

Iruka’s hands slid up over Kakashi’s shoulders pushing his shirt off to drop on the floor... every inch of Kakashi’s body was amazing, a wonderful masterpiece sculpted and toned... hard muscles covered in smooth alabaster skin... if Iruka wasn’t touching him he’d have never believed such perfection could exist on a living man... he was like a fine work of art, a sculpture of a deity.

 

Iruka’s hands stroked and kneaded the ridges of muscles delighting in every moan he caused to come from the quiet nin’s mouth.

 

Only when Iruka’s hands slid down over the hard bulge of Kakashi’s erection did fear set in once more.  Kakashi felt Iruka’s body stiffen and tried to back away once more only to have Iruka follow him.  “Iruka you don’t have to do this...”

 

“I want to do this... please Kakashi, don’t leave... I want you, I want this... don’t push me away.”

 

Kakashi relented and Iruka pulled him against his body for a long, slow kiss... molding his body to Kakashi’s and trying to dispel his fear of Kakashi’s cock pressing against his stomach... wanting the intimate connection of their bodies.

 

When Iruka drew back it was to grab Kakashi’s hand and lead him to the bedroom, this time Kakashi allowed it.  Iruka shivered, his uncertainty welling up in him, and turned to kiss Kakashi once more as they stood beside Iruka’s bed.

 

When Iruka’s fears had quelled slightly his fingers moved down to feather over Kakashi’s erection tracing its length through the cloth of his pants.  Kakashi drew his breath in a sharp hiss his stomach muscles rippling as his cock jumped eagerly at the attention.

 

In spite of the surge of fear Kakashi’s reaction caused, Iruka unfastened Kakashi’s pants and his fingers hesitantly grazed over the swollen flesh... it was so soft, fine silky skin that was so sensitive that every movement of Iruka’s fingers drew a low moan or whimper.  It was thrilling... Kakashi quivered under his touch, it made Iruka bold and his hand cupped Kakashi’s cock drawing a soft plea, “Ah Iruka your hands feel so good, please touch me...”  Iruka’s hand slid up the shaft to the head and Kakashi’s head dropped to rest on Iruka’s shoulder as he trembled and moaned.

 

Every move of Iruka’s hand over the swollen over sensitized flesh made Kakashi wish to cry, to beg and plead for more... Kakashi whimpered wantonly and drew ragged labored breaths.  Kakashi turned his face into the curve of Iruka’s neck placing hungry kisses along the length of Iruka’s neck and feeling Iruka’s pulse quicken under his lips.

 

Iruka mewed softly... it was a beautiful sound; a sound of passion... of desire for him and Kakashi’s heart soared.  “Kami Iruka I love you so much.”  Kakashi murmured against Iruka’s warm skin as his kisses turned to gentle sucks that made Iruka arch into Kakashi.

 

Iruka made another needy mew and stepped back out of Kakashi’s arms his eyes locked on Kakashi’s, his hands stripped his clothes trying not to dwell on the fear and vulnerability he felt only the love in Kakashi’s eyes.

 

Kakashi stepped free of his pants and they both stood before each other, bare for the first time... but the only thing each of them was looking at was the others eyes.  Iruka shivered hard then hesitantly stepped forward.  As their cocks brushed Iruka closed his eyes his breath catching then releasing in a blissful moan of pleasure... that was echoed by Kakashi’s delighted groan.  They gently bucked their hips rubbing their cocks against each other and between their bodies, their precum making the swollen flesh slick and teasing them almost over the edge.

 

Iruka kissed Kakashi hungrily whimpering into the kiss urgently as he thrust against Kakashi and felt Kakashi’s cock swell harder between them.  Iruka moaned feverishly breaking their kiss as he bucked hard one final time and came. Kakashi’s hands caressed Iruka’s back kneading the muscles and a moment later his cum blended with Iruka’s between their bodies.

 

Kakashi remained still, his hands resting lightly on Iruka’s back, his eyes nervous as he waited to see if Iruka would pull away from him. 

 

Iruka’s hands came up to cup Kakashi’s face and he kissed Kakashi lovingly.

 

Kakashi felt such a wave of relief it almost brought tears to his eyes.  “Iruka I love you so very much!” Kakashi rained tender kisses over Iruka’s face.  Iruka closed his eyes and leaned into the loving gesture.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

But it wasn’t over... Iruka was determined, this terror, this wall that stood between them would end tonight... Tonight they would...

 

No!  Kakashi’s hands!  Iruka felt a wave of terror so strong it left him nauseated, he struggled in Kakashi’s arms and yanked back so hard that the loose hold easily fell away and Iruka landed on his ass but even then scrambled backwards.

 

The sorrow in Kakashi’s eyes shamed Iruka.  Kakashi turned and walked out of the bedroom as Iruka dipped his head and cried. 

 

Kakashi gathered his clothes and dressed, then quickly hopped out the window and fled in despair... Iruka couldn’t bear his touch... he had to force himself, what kind of life could they live?  How could he look in Iruka’s eyes every day knowing the man he loved feared him!

 

Kakashi found himself outside the ANBU building without remembering heading there... Suddenly Kakashi knew, he had to know what Mizuki had done, he had to know... to understand...

 

Kakashi hopped down from the tree limb and walked in.  When Kakashi entered Ibiki’s office Ibiki looked up without surprise.  “It won’t help...”  Ibiki said gravely.  Kakashi realized Ibiki knew what he was going to ask... and he knew at least some of what Mizuki had done.  “Knowing will only cause you pain...” Ibiki insisted softly.

 

Kakashi lifted his mournful eye from the key sitting on Ibiki’s desk.  “I have to know...”

 

Ibiki nodded and without another word he rose taking the key.  Ibiki led Kakashi down the flights of stairs to the interrogation rooms below.  At the door Ibiki paused, “Kakashi this is a bad idea... you shouldn’t come in, wait in the observation room.  Watch from there.”  Ibiki urged, an almost gentle compassion in his rough tone.

 

When Kakashi did not speak Ibiki unlocked the door and lead the way into the room.

 

Mizuki stood poised on his toes, his arms high over his head and fastened to a bar suspended from the ceiling.  He looked up saw Ibiki and trembled, whimpering. “Please!  No more!” 

 

Ibiki’s whole persona changed as he walked into the room, he laughed cruelly and taunted. “Now what did I say about talking... do you really want me to cut your tongue out?” 

 

Ibiki walked up and ‘caressed’ Mizuki’s head before tightening his fingers in Mizuki’s hair.  “In fact, I think that’s a wonderful idea... should make sucking my cock a whole lot easier.”  Ibiki drew his knife, grasped Mizuki’s bottom jaw pressing in with his fingers until Mizuki was forced to open his mouth. 

 

Mizuki was crying, gasping air in terror, fresh blood and salvia trailing down his chin.  Ibiki chuckled “Nah maybe later.”  Ibiki released Mizuki’s jaw then quickly sliced a shallow cut over Mizuki’s chest and dipped his fingers in the blood wetting them.  “Need lube... right Mizuki?”  Ibiki shoved three fingers into Mizuki’s ass in one rough thrust causing Mizuki to arch and cry out.  Kakashi hadn’t moved from the door and for a minute he wondered if Ibiki had forgotten he was there.

 

“Ah, but where’s my manners?  We have a guest.”  Ibiki mocked.  “Guess we should entertain him... unlike me he likes talk, so if you talk... answer his questions, I may think about letting you change positions... the calf muscles got to be a bit tender by now...” Ibiki grasped one roughly and Mizuki wailed as it cramped.

 

Kakashi approached, Mizuki began sobbing hard when he saw Kakashi.  Ibiki scoffed, “Now is that anyway to greet our guest?  He’ll think you don’t like him... and after how kind he was to you... you know he was going to feed you your cock but instead he got you a new boyfriend... haven’t we had fun together?”  

 

Ibiki circled Mizuki and Mizuki struggled to keep him in sight.  “No words for our guest?”  Ibiki chastised.  Ibiki stood behind Mizuki he glanced over at Kakashi, his eyes warning him to turn away, but Kakashi didn’t.

 

Ibiki took a gray metal tube with wire coming out of it and shoved it into Mizuki’s ass.   Mizuki cried out but it was more in terror than pain, it was clear he was familiar with what Ibiki was doing and Kakashi didn’t have to wait long before it became clear what Ibiki had done.  Mizuki’s whole body was tense, every muscle rigid... Kakashi knew as soon as he saw the way Mizuki’s jaw was clenched. 

 

Ibiki had shoved an electrode into Mizuki and the voltage was gradually stepped up until every muscle in Mizuki’s body was locked up.  It was clear it was agonizing and Mizuki couldn’t even scream, a long high whine like noise came from him but his throat muscles remained clenched preventing his shrieks.

 

Ibiki walked slowly around to in front of Mizuki and ‘yawned’. “You’re right... it’s better to stay silent.  Say Kakashi what was it you wanted to talk about anyway?  Perhaps Mizuki will feel like talking an a few more minutes...”

 

Ibiki tapped the control in his hand a few times as if debating then turned it off.  Mizuki sagged and Ibiki yanked Mizuki’s head up to look at Kakashi.

 

Kakashi regarded Mizuki ruthlessly.  “I want to hear about the games he played with my koishii, Iruka.”

 

Mizuki pleaded desperately, “Please I didn’t know... I didn’t know he belonged to you!”

 

Kakashi hit Mizuki, Ibiki’s grasp didn’t give and Mizuki received the full force of the blow, his right eye immediately started to swell.  “Iruka is not a possession... he belongs to himself.”  Kakashi corrected coldly.

 

Ibiki’s fingers stroked down Mizuki’s body, Mizuki whimpered in a sound so like the terrified whimper Iruka made at Kakashi’s touch that it was all Kakashi could do to not hit Mizuki until he was a bloody pile of meat.

 

Ibiki sounded bored, “I wouldn’t keep teasing Kakashi like that... you probably should answer him.”  Ibiki’s hand closed around Mizuki’s balls and he slowly squeezed until Mizuki was screaming out his answers as quickly as he could, “I fucked him!  I fucked him in every position I could think of!”

 

“Every position you could think of... I’ll bet I can come up with some ones you haven’t tried... but don’t worry you’ll get your chance... I’m going to fuck you in every position **I** can think of... and I’ve got a much ‘better’ imagination.”  Ibiki’s tone had lost its ‘playful humor’.

 

“I want details!”  Kakashi snarled.  “Tell me what you did!”

 

Mizuki looked terrified but as his gaze slid down to Ibiki’s obvious erection he gladly began to talk... anything to prevent what Ibiki had planned at least for a little while.

 

In the end Ibiki was right... Kakashi fled unable to bear another word long before Mizuki got past the first hour of the many hours he’d raped Iruka.

 

Kakashi sat in Ibiki’s office, his head in his hands, trying to still the shaking of his body and uncertain if it was in horror or anger... he felt both so strongly it felt like it would tear him apart. 

 

Ibiki walked in almost an hour later, his clothes were immaculate and Kakashi could smell soap from his shower... Ibiki had cleaned up before returning to talk; he’d known Kakashi needed time alone to deal with what he’d just heard.  Ibiki had stayed with Mizuki to vent some of his fury before leaving to clean up.

 

“Maybe I should stay away from Iruka... I only seem to hurt him... and how could I ever expect him to bear my touch after...”  Kakashi said quietly, he looked numb... broken...

 

Ibiki sighed, “Just give him some time Kakashi... he just needs time... “

 

Kakashi nodded and rose, walking to the door without a word.  Ibiki spoke once more giving him the one other piece of advice he had, “And Kakashi, if he wants to push at his limits... don’t stop him.”

 

Kakashi turned looking at Ibiki for several minutes then nodded, that was easier said than done.  How could he look in Iruka’s terrified eyes and do nothing?

 

Ibiki’s eyes were wise. “Sometimes the hardest thing to do is nothing at all... you can’t solve his problems for him.”

 

Kakashi walked out the door and closed it quietly behind him.  Ibiki shook his head sadly, it was still too soon to know how this would end... but Ibiki did know what would happen next... and it wouldn’t help either.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Kakashi walked into the observation room and sat looking down at Mizuki as he thought about Ibiki’s words.

 

At first it just looked like Mizuki was kneeling, his hands shackled to the wall behind him, heavy weights were slung around his neck and his ankles were bound to a spreader bar.  Kakashi could see his body trembling as he attempted not to sit down on his legs... that was when Kakashi noticed why.  The spreader bar had a section in the middle that was shaped like a cone, it was narrow at the top and Kakashi figured the top probably sat right at Mizuki’s hole... if Mizuki had stayed upright on his knees, but the weight was too much. 

 

Mizuki was unable to prevent his body from pushing down into the cone, it penetrated his body by approximately 2cm at this point... as his legs further fatigued he’d fall further down it as it very quickly widened from the visible 3cm to 20 cm in circumference... Kakashi absently wondered if that was survivable... knowing Ibiki it was... at least for a little while.  Maimed for life was fine, but Ibiki rarely let someone die that easily.

 

Even watching Mizuki in agony didn’t alleviate any of the horror of Mizuki’s words... didn’t get those words out of Kakashi’s head, but Kakashi just continued sitting and watching numbly.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

It was without surprise that Ibiki looked up and saw Iruka; he’d known he’d come.  Ibiki nodded and handed Iruka the key without a word, then watched him walkout of his office.

 

Iruka walked down the hall to where Mizuki was... then paused outside the door.  It had to end, once he took Mizuki’s life it would be over... the pain would go away.

 

Iruka opened the door and walked in, Mizuki looked up with hopeless eyes at Iruka, his face damp with tears and his right eye swollen almost closed. 

 

Mizuki didn’t react to Iruka at all and after a moment just slumped more, his legs weakening further and a wail of agony coming from his lips.  Iruka could see a stream of blood draining down a grate... he knew it came from Mizuki but he refused to look, refused to care.

 

Iruka spoke quietly.  “You took everything from me... now I’m taking everything from you.”  Iruka thrust the kunai into Mizuki’s chest and stood watching the blood bubble from his lips until he had died.

 

Iruka turned, walked up the stairs and out the ANBU building doors...  He felt numb, hollow.

 

HE had just taken control of his life; Mizuki would never hurt him again... Iruka hadn’t relied on anyone or been protected by them.  Iruka had taken Mizuki’s life in payment for the suffering Mizuki had caused... and yet it didn’t change anything, it still happened... killing Mizuki hadn’t made what happened disappear.

 

Iruka went home made a tea and sat on his couch... it wasn’t until over an hour later he realized that he hadn’t drank the tea... Iruka looked down at his blood stained hands... the dark flecks of blood that speckled his arms and chest and cried... it hadn’t made it better... nothing would make it go away.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Kakashi sat watching, tears streaming down his cheeks, as Iruka thrust the kunai into Mizuki and watched him die... Mizuki just took another piece of Kakashi’s beloved; the gentle man who’d never killed now had blood on his hands.

 

Iruka walked out the door, the numb shuffle of a man in shock, as Kakashi watched and mourned Iruka’s loss... another piece of Iruka’s innocence stolen.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Iruka didn’t know what to do, nothing had changed and he hurt so badly.  Iruka walked into Ibiki’s office once more and stood looking at the floor.  Ibiki was the only one who knew, who’d felt this horrible pain... this sucking despair.

 

Iruka’s soft sobs tore at Ibiki’s heart... Ibiki knew his pain, and he understood his tears were of frustration and fear... fear that he’d never feel ‘alright’ again... that he’d always hurt as much as he did now. 

 

“It didn’t help.”  Ibiki stated quietly.

 

Iruka looked up, his eyes empty of any hope.  “No... But you knew that... you knew it wouldn’t.” 

 

Ibiki didn’t reply, he didn’t need to... after Iruka’s empty gaze dropped back to the floor Ibiki asked softly, “So what now?”

 

Iruka was quiet, his sobs had stilled, but tears still dripped from his cheeks.  “I don’t know.”  Iruka finally whispered.

 

Ibiki rose and walked over to Iruka, he saw Iruka’s involuntary flinch, but didn’t pause as he lifted Iruka’s face.  “You’re stronger than this... don’t give up.  Take back your future, accept that this has happened to you and that it is over.  Don’t push the people who care about you, or you care about, away.”

 

Iruka threw his arms around Ibiki and Ibiki’s eyes widened slightly, he hadn’t meant him! 

 

Iruka started laughing at Ibiki’s shocked look and in minutes was laughing so hard that Ibiki couldn’t help seeing the humor in it, he felt his lips curve in an amused smile... ok it WAS a bit funny, but Iruka surprised him. 

 

Iruka had released Ibiki and backed away, he looked up at him with a thankful look.  “Thank you... it means a lot to me... you took back your life and I will too.”

 

Ibiki nodded, he had tried to hide his relief as Iruka moved away but before Iruka walked out the door he looked back at Ibiki, his eyes solemn.  “You still flinched... it doesn’t go away does it?”

 

Ibiki’s gaze was grim. “No.”

 

Iruka nodded and walked out the door, he would push past it and learn to accept it... he couldn’t forget and return to who he’d been, that person he had been didn’t exist anymore.

 

Iruka just hoped he hadn’t lost Kakashi... 

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Kakashi sat outside Iruka’s window watching his beloved, Iruka just sat numbly on his couch, his hands covered in Mizuki’s blood holding a cup of tea and staring at the floor.  Kakashi felt so helpless...

 

He should have taken Mizuki’s life himself... spared Iruka this last pain, he’d been selfish in wanting Mizuki to suffer, Iruka had never asked for that... never wanted that and because of his selfishness his beloved now sat... another piece of himself broken.

 

When Iruka began sobbing Kakashi cried with him, wishing there was anything he could do or say that could heal his koishii... and knowing there wasn’t.

 

Iruka rose from the couch and walked out his apartment door, down the road to the ANBU building once more... Kakashi followed and watched him go in.

 

When Iruka came back out he looked calmer, his pain lessened from despair to sorrow.  Kakashi was torn between going in to talk with Ibiki and following Iruka, finally Kakashi decided to talk to Ibiki once more before going to Iruka.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Ibiki’s words had been few, he’d told Kakashi to go to Iruka... so he had.  When Iruka saw Kakashi outside the window he opened the window without a word.

 

Iruka’s hair was down and his skin smelled of soap, no sign of blood remained but Iruka seemed to know that Kakashi knew what he’d done.  Iruka’s eyes were cautious, as if afraid Kakashi wouldn’t love him.

 

“Iruka, koishii, I will always love you.”  Kakashi assured his voice gentle and accepting.   Iruka walked into Kakashi’s arms and allowed Kakashi’s arms to remain loosely around his body for several minutes before stepping away slightly.

 

“Kakashi... I want to continue... I want to... I still want to make love.”  Iruka whispered, his eyes dropped.  “Do you still want me?”

 

Kakashi fought his desire to gather Iruka in his arms. “Yes, Iruka... always, I love you.”

 

Iruka nodded, “Can we...”?  He asked quietly, when Iruka looked up his eyes were full of longing... and fear.

 

“Yes Koishii.”  Kakashi replied gently.  Kakashi removed everything except his pants and stood his hands at his sides.  “You tell me what to do, where you want touched and what you want done... I will not move unless you instruct it.”

 

Iruka nodded and then stripped, but he still did not approach for several minutes, when he did it was to touch Kakashi’s chest hesitantly.  Kakashi closed his eyes but was silent; when he opened his eyes once more Iruka could see the deep love in his gentle gaze. 

 

Kakashi’s love gave Iruka courage, he reached out to touch Kakashi’s hand feeling it... it did not feel like _his,_ it did not grab and...  Iruka took a deep breath and pushed those thoughts away. 

 

Iruka’s fingers continued to explore Kakashi’s hand, Iruka lifted it and brushed the tips of Kakashi’s fingers against his skin of his chest... feeling the gentle warm caress glide over the muscles... then continued to slide Kakashi’s hand lightly down, the further down he moved Kakashi’s hand the more Iruka’s hand shook. 

 

Denying his fear Iruka brought Kakashi’s hand down to his own flaccid cock... then brushed Kakashi’s fingers over the skin lightly, watching and feeling the feather light brush of Kakashi’s fingers before finally letting Kakashi’s hand go.  Kakashi’s hand didn’t move, staying exactly where and how Iruka had left it. 

 

Iruka whispered, “Stroke my cock.” 

 

Kakashi’s fingers glided over the sensitive skin with silken brushes of his fingers and Iruka caught his breath his cock hardening.

 

Iruka placed his hand on Kakashi’s taut stomach and felt the involuntary contraction of Kakashi’s muscles in reaction to his touch... Kakashi desired him.  The thought sent a pang of fear through him; Iruka quelled it, whispering to himself.  “He isn’t doing anything, I am in control... I am telling his fingers what to do... he will not move without my telling him to...”  The words helped slightly, as did the fact Iruka’s cock was flushed and needy... making Iruka want more. 

 

Iruka stepped close to Kakashi, his cock rubbing softly along Kakashi’s pants as he took Kakashi’s hands and moved them to his hips... they did not move and after a second Iruka grazed Kakashi’s fingers over the skin, then left them resting there and murmured. “Touch my hips.” 

 

Kakashi’s hands embraced Iruka’s hips gently.  Iruka’s his cock bobbed in appreciation of Kakashi’s tender caresses and he was shocked to hear a soft mew come from his lips. 

 

Iruka took Kakashi’s hands and rested them on the cheeks of his ass, he shivered and looked panicked.  Kakashi followed Ibiki’s direction and said nothing, he wanted to tell Iruka it was ok and take his hands off him but he did nothing.

 

Iruka stood looking at Kakashi’s chest and shivering for several seconds, then looked up into Kakashi’s eyes as he moved Kakashi’s hands so they were stroking his ass.  Iruka moved them to the part; Iruka stopped his hands tightened and his muscles jumped under Kakashi’s fingertips as Iruka resisted the urge to pull away.

 

Iruka whispered, “I’m sorry.”  Iruka felt shame that he was hurting Kakashi.  Looking into Kakashi’s eyes there was no doubt it was hurting him to see Iruka terrified by his touch but Kakashi said nothing, simply quietly accepted the pain.

 

Iruka laid his head on Kakashi’s chest and nuzzled it, smelling Kakashi’s warm scent as his hand pressed Kakashi’s hand to the part of his ass and whispered, “Touch me.  Push between and touch me.” 

 

Iruka’s hand dropped away and Kakashi’s fingers dipped between the cheeks to run a soft stroke over Iruka’s hole.  Iruka whimpered, but it was not in pleasure or lust... it was fear.  Iruka buried his face in Kakashi’s chest and Kakashi could feel the damp of tears.  

 

Iruka placed gentle kisses on Kakashi’s chest as he cried, seeking to accept and relax under Kakashi’s touch... this had nothing to do with what Mizuki had done to him, it was not the same, Mizuki wanted to hurt... to punish...

 

Iruka reached over and picked up the lube he’d set on the dresser, then laid his face against Kakashi’s chest once more, seeking comfort, and felt Kakashi slowly nuzzle his hair.  Kakashi whispered.  “I love you so very much.”

 

Iruka looked up and took Kakashi’s other hand placing the lube in it. “I...”  Iruka’s heart hammered and his throat wet dry, his voice came out as a hoarse rasp, “I want you to press inside.” 

 

Kakashi’s hand slipped softly out from between Iruka’s cheeks and he wet his fingers then slowly slipped his hand back around to run a slick finger over the puckered hole.  Iruka cried out and hid face, his whole body shaking as he began to cry.

 

Kakashi’s fingers moved away, in spite of what Ibiki said he couldn’t let Iruka do this to himself.  “Sweet love, shhh... it’s ok, shhh... can we try another way?”  After a second Iruka sniffled and nodded, but he didn’t lift his head for several more minutes.

 

Kakashi had asked Ibiki for the leather restraints, they would not injure Kakashi since he had no intensions of struggling and Ibiki had given them to him without a word.

 

“Iruka can we try... reach in my vest pocket.”  Iruka walked over and reached into Kakashi’s vest.  Kakashi had checked with Ibiki, Mizuki hadn’t used restraints on Iruka and Kakashi hoped Iruka wouldn’t react badly.

 

As Iruka turned around he looked slightly confused, then when Kakashi lie on his back on the bed his wrists resting through the rails of the head board comprehension came to Iruka’s eyes.   Iruka gave a very hesitant nod and walked over to the bed, placed the lube by Kakashi’s hip and moved up to bind Kakashi’s hands.

 

Kakashi hoped this would give Iruka a sense of control; he lay on the bed and watched without fear as Iruka bound his hands up through the headboard.  Iruka was shivering, his hands trembled. 

 

Kakashi softly started crooning to him, a soft whisper Iruka strained to hear.  “You’re so amazing... so very precious... you’re strong... and smart... gentle... kind... you are so many of the things we all strive to be... and I love you so very much.”

 

Iruka’s body had stopped shaking he looked down at Kakashi quietly, he loved Kakashi... he could trust him.  Iruka drew a deep breath, he could do this... the feel of Kakashi’s body was something he wanted.  Iruka stroked Kakashi’s cheek then reached up and unbound his hands, Kakashi didn’t move them. 

 

“I can’t do that to you...” Iruka whispered.  “I love you...”

 

Iruka lay down on top on Kakashi and lay his head on Kakashi’s chest, feeling his warmth and letting it soothe him, his fingers picked up the lube and placed it in Kakashi’s hand.  “Please touch me.”  Iruka whispered, “Please put your finger in me.” 

 

Once more Kakashi wet his fingers and as he began to slip his finger between the cheeks of Iruka’s ass he felt Iruka’s hand clench on his chest but Iruka didn’t move away or start crying, just whimpered softly. “Talk to me Kakashi... please.”

 

Kakashi’s other hand massaged Iruka’s back slowly as Kakashi began murmuring in a soothing low voice.  “You were always so amazing.  I was afraid to talk to you... so very smart... so handsome... friendly... everyone wanted to talk to you... but I couldn’t...I couldn’t find anything to say...  every day I saw you and wanted to talk to you and every day the chance would pass without me having the courage to speak.”

 

Iruka listened to Kakashi’s words so intently that the finger stroking over his hole didn’t seem so bad but as it rubbed firmer at the center then slipped in Iruka made a low whimper and hid his face against Kakashi’s chest.  Iruka laid breathing in the scent of Kakashi’s skin and reminding himself that he wanted this man... he loved him. 

 

Kakashi continued speaking softly, slowly Kakashi’s words slipped through and Iruka looked up in surprise.  “What?”

 

Kakashi looked down at him with adoration, “I’ve never... had anyone in me.  I want you to be my first... but only if it’s something you wish to do... don’t do anything for me... only if you want it.”

 

Iruka was stunned, “You want me to... fuck you?”

 

Kakashi’s eyes dropped but not before Iruka saw the pain his words caused.  Iruka cupped Kakashi’s face, he could feel Kakashi’s finger resting in his ass and unconsciously squirmed on it as he apologized, “I’m sorry... you wanted me to make love to you?”  Kakashi nodded his eyes rising up to meet Iruka’s.  “Yes... but only if you wish to...”

 

Iruka’s lips curved softly, "I do."  Iruka replied quietly.  “I desire you so much... but I think we need to finish this.”

 

“I know.”  Kakashi said his lips brushed over Iruka’s.  Iruka drew a deep shaky breath and pressed back taking Kakashi’s finger further into his body... Iruka waited a second then began moving on it... 

 

Iruka’s breath caught, but it was in pleasure...  Iruka made a soft mewl at the feel of Kakashi’s slick finger sliding over the nerves of his entrance.

 

Iruka rocked faster and felt the most amazing tingle as Kakashi sent small pulses of chakra through his finger and into Iruka’s body... it was like a teasing vibration over the sensitive nerves.  Iruka’s mouth fell open and he moaned, “Oh Kami... Kakashi... it feels so good.

 

Kakashi’s eyes were dark with passion but he stayed completely still, his eyes watching Iruka’s face intently.  “You’re so gorgeous...”  Kakashi whispered, his voice awed.  “You have no idea how very perfect you are.”

 

Iruka stopped, cupped Kakashi’s face and kissed Kakashi fervently, then panted softly.  “I want more...” Iruka only hesitated a minute before he asked.  “Please put another finger in me.”

 

“Anything for you Iruka... I will do anything for you; you have only to ask... I will give you anything.”  Kakashi replied.

 

Kakashi slipped his finger out and placed two fingers against Iruka’s hole.  Kakashi watched Iruka’s eyes; the quick flash of fear that swept through them was difficult for Kakashi to watch. 

 

Iruka began pushing down slowly on them, Kakashi sent soft pulses of chakra through the tips of his fingers against the sensitive area and Iruka’s eyes widened then darkened in desire.   Iruka whimpered, and panted a soft, “Kakashi”, then pushed down more firmly taking them into his body.

 

As Kakashi’s fingers entered Iruka’s body he froze.  Kakashi cooed, “Iruka you’re my inspiration... I’ve never met someone so strong, so caring... I love you so much... I want to spend the rest of my life telling you how much... showing you how much I cherish you...”

 

Iruka had relaxed into him, lying on Kakashi’s chest nuzzling his skin.  Kakashi could feel Iruka’s soft breaths caressing the skin, then he pressed back and took Kakashi’s fingers deep into his body.  Even knowing he probably shouldn’t Kakashi placed soft kisses on Iruka’s shoulder.  “I love the feel of you in my arms... the way I can feel your heart beating with mine... I have never been so happy as when you are near me.”

 

“Kakashi...”  Iruka sighed, a soft sound of pleasure that made Kakashi’s heart full of joy.  Iruka slowly rocked his hips working Kakashi’s fingers in and out of his body until his body loosened and they moved smoothly as Iruka fucked himself on them.

 

“Please... continue Kakashi... I want you to...” Iruka murmured and his hand moved almost reluctantly down to Kakashi’s hard cloth covered erection as Kakashi slowly pumped his fingers in Iruka’s body and played chakra along them making Iruka’s breathing hitch and helping distract him from his fears as his hand traced the hard ridge.

 

Kakashi’s breath caught and he tried to suppress his moan; his cock was so desperately hard.  The long torment of holding Iruka’s naked body to his was agonizing but Kakashi concentrated on Iruka’s face and tried to suppress his body’s demands.  Still he closed his eyes and couldn’t hold back a pained groan as Iruka’s fingers opened the fastenings of his pants and released his cock, the light touches torturing him further. 

 

“Kakashi...”  Iruka whispered and Kakashi opened his eyes, worried he’d frightened Iruka.  But Iruka’s eyes were concerned, “I’m sorry...”

 

Kakashi’s fingers stilled, his heart flopped.  Was he scaring Iruka?

 

“I know you... I know it’s got to be hurting.”  Iruka whispered his eyes searching Kakashi’s face as his fingers rested lightly on Kakashi’s painfully engorged cock.

 

Kakashi couldn’t help it he was so relieved that was all that was bothering Iruka that he chuckled softly; “Iruka I would do anything for you... this is nothing.  I am thrilled just to hold you in my arms koishii.”

 

Iruka’s eyes teared but his lips smiled softly in happiness, “I never imagine I’d hear those words from your lips one day...”

 

“Iruka I would love to say those words to you several times a day for the rest of your life...”  Kakashi vowed sincerely.

 

Iruka dipped his head to lay it against Kakashi’s chest his fingers stroked Kakashi’s skin as he breathed in the smell.  “I’m ready...”

 

Kakashi’s fingers slipped out of Iruka’s body, but Kakashi made no effort to enter his cock onto him.  Iruka looked up, “It’s ok... I’m going to be fine.”

 

Suddenly Kakashi couldn’t... Mizuki’s words rang in his ears _‘I slammed my cock into him as he tried to escape...’._   “Iruka... I...”

 

Iruka looked at Kakashi his fingers traced the tears on Kakashi’s cheek then he sat up, reached down and positioned Kakashi’s cock at his prepared body.  Iruka refused to think of anything but Kakashi’s sad eyes as he slowly lowered himself down on Kakashi’s engorged cock.

 

Iruka shivered as the head entered his body and closed his eyes tears trailed down his cheeks and he softly begged, “Kakashi talk to me please, I’m so frightened.”

 

“Iruka you are everything to me... I love you so much that I couldn’t bear a life without you by my side... my heart is filled with joy with every sweet smile I see on your lips...” Kakashi crooned.  Iruka opened his eyes and looked down into Kakashi’s adoring gaze and he drew a shaky breath his body slowly coming to rest with Kakashi’s cock inside of his body.

 

Iruka lifted one of Kakashi’s hands to his face nuzzling it and feeling Kakashi’s gentle fingers caress his skin, then placed a kiss in the palm.  This wasn’t the same... there was nothing the same about the intimate connection of his body to Kakashi’s and what Mizuki had done... this was love... Mizuki’s was a brutal beating... Mizuki had used his cock to hurt him but it was a beating... brutality, not sex... not love.

 

Iruka shifted his hips moving Kakashi’s cock slowly in his body.  Iruka released Kakashi’s hand and his hands roamed over Kakashi’s body in enjoyment feeling the man he loved under him, in him... filling his body... the way it should be.  Iruka moved faster and mewed softly in pleasure.  “Touch me Kakashi... touch me.  Feel my body, I love you... I want you!”

 

Kakashi moaned in rapture at Iruka’s words. “Ah Koishii!  I love you!  I love you so much!”  Kakashi’s hands tentatively grazed Iruka’s legs and when Iruka didn’t tense or become upset his feather light strokes drifted up to Iruka’s hips.

 

Iruka grasped one of Kakashi’s hands and placed it on his cock then began moving faster, rising and falling smoothly on Kakashi’s hard flesh and moaning in pleasure. 

 

Kakashi’s hand grazed over Iruka’s cock lightly, Iruka’s rapturous mew and rippling of his muscles gave Kakashi confidence, he began stroking Iruka’s cock faster rubbing his thumb over the head and teasing it with waves of chakra.  Iruka arched and cried out in ecstasy. His cock pulsing and shooting his cum out over Kakashi’s chest.  Kakashi wailed, the pleasure almost painful, his release burned through him and his cock jumped in Iruka’s hot passage as he came.

 

Iruka collapsed forward on Kakashi’s chest breathing hard and Kakashi hesitantly rested his arms as light as a whisper around Iruka.  Kakashi lay waiting and trying to prepare for Iruka to react ‘badly’... push away, sob... but what he wasn’t prepared for was Iruka’s gentle kiss on his skin and the way he snuggled into Kakashi’s chest with a yawn.

 

Kakashi’s arms rested a bit heaver and Iruka gave a soft “Mmmm...”

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Things didn’t get better all at once... Iruka continued to have nightmares for many months and occasionally flinched when Kakashi reached out for him but with every day that passed it happened less...   

 

 

 THE END


End file.
